I always leave it up to my guides to direct me into which subject I should dive into, and share with every set of eyes reading my blogs. The answer I receive first this evening is my journey. After all, that is my question to others, I am just so fascinated to learn, and grow, but everyone starts somewhere. I remember being a curious child, an obsessive child, and an emotional child. I didn't understand when people were joking, and I would always take everything to heart. (And I mean EVERYTHING!) I had obsessions about the most random subjects, and I was always wanting to know why things accrued the way they did, and how they came about.
Growing up at a young age I was bullied, every. single. day. I loathed school, and everyone in it. Sure I had a few friends, most of them knew me as someone they shared interests with, when really it was all fake. I was never really myself, because well I was afraid to be me, and end up alone everyday. I closed myself up around 12 years old, putting up a thick brick wall for everyone around me; I felt like everyone was against me. We grew up in a low income family after my parents separated, we moved quite a bit growing up. I will never forget the wise words my elementary school principal once sat me down to share.. "Our lives are like turtles. Some turtles might have beautiful big shells on the outside, but the inside could be lonely, and empty; Or your turtle shell might be broken, odd shaped, and not so pretty, but the inside could be filled with love, and joy." Our turtle shell was less fortunate, poor, broken in a sense, but the inside was filled with an abundance of love from a hard working Mother, and her 2 siblings!..Now four.
I remember trying so hard to fit in, when now I look back and am SO proud that I stood out. I made a few really close friends a few years later that I keep near and dear to my heart, they remind me of the good times and rough patches I've been through, and I love every single one of them. One of my loves, Katrine, had helped me through one of the greatest challenges I was presented with in my early teenage life, and I don't think I thanked her enough for being there every step of the way. She helped me through a very dark low, and seen, and loved the best in me, when she could have easily turned the other cheek. I love her more then she knows, and I will cherish her, and our memories till my last breathe. Distance, and time does not define true friend ship, unconditional love and support does. I believe I always suffered from anxiety, and panic but more so around the age of 15.. and the worst part was not understanding why! Why would I start to sweat, breathe heavy, and loose all control I had over my mind, and body.. Why are counselors not being taught how to deal with Spirit, instead of focusing so much on depression, drugs, and sex. No at the time I was none of the above. Spirit is the root of ourselves, our knowing! We need resources, holistic healing; Reiki, and life coaches to also be assisting in every high school, and I can guarantee that the rate of depression, anxiety, mental health, and suicide would decrease at a rapid rate. It makes me wonder how many lives could be saved, how many teenagers would be off medication, anti-depressants, and how many teenagers would grow into their true authentic self early on. I was fortunate enough to find my own path early in this life time, but it may be for a greater purpose than I am yet still aware of. Don't give up, you got this! The years to follow, had the biggest impact on who I am today. I worked part time in high school to buy myself the things I wanted, one in particular was a ski trip, to St-Donat, Quebec. It was truly a miracle on how I came up with so much money, and enough to buy myself a skiing outfit. Just for the record, I did NOT know anything about skiing. I had never even done it before, but the Universe knew I had to go, no matter what. That ski trip changed the course of my life! It was there on February 14, I first met Eric, who is now my husband, and father to our 3 beautiful babies. Here I was among many different schools totaling over 300 people, then divided into groups of 40, and then asked to turn to the person on your right and get to know them better.. Eric was sitting beside me on my right. I will never forget the first time I met what I thought was a crazy, ridiculous, handsome looking man, acting out my favorite pass time in front of our group. I just knew I needed to talk to him more. The way the universe orchestrated my life with Eric was magical. We spent a few years getting to know each other, but I have since been with him for 7 years this year.Eric has helped me grow into the woman I was aiming to become, helping me overcome eating disorders, controlling my anxiety, paving the way for me to become the best mother I ever could be, and supporting us every step of the way. We have accomplished so much together, and I am forever grateful, and proud of us. That doesn't mean life was perfect, how could it be? Every soul comes with baggage, and for Eric it was his mothers family. It started out rough, and ended beyond shattered. It saddens me every so often to think what life could have been like with his Mother's family involved in our children's lives, but karmic lessons had to be learnt for her. You can not help someone who does not want to be helped, and refuses to work through the emotions that come with it. I know deep down in my heart that if only we could have tried harder, life would be happier for everyone. These lessons run deep in his Mother, but we are all here to grow and evolve. Eric chose his Mother before coming here to this life time, and I know he is trying to heal his mother wound, because I see it everyday when he comes home from work to be the best father, and husband he can be! He gives his all to love every single one of us, and not let us down. I know he doesn't like to admit it just yet, but his soul is evolving at such a rapid rate it's incredible to watch sometimes. His intuition is almost always spot on, and he is growing beautifully. I like to think that coming from a family where a female is absent, I am there to fill the void. However your mother is always your mother, and always will be, and for that I am saddened for him. My biggest wish for him, is to find that mother-son relationship that most get to experience.
Today, I have three beautiful children, who fill me with so much love, that I once never knew I had. I can't even begin to express how grateful I am for each and everyone of them, and so blessed that they chose me to be their momma in this life time! (Yes, you pick your parents before coming to earth) Sometimes I sit alone thinking, about how I can make the most out of this lifetime with them, and with everyone I love so dearly. I mean after all when will I ever have another lifetime with those souls being my children, and the souls filling as my husband, mother, father, brothers, sister, and friends? That is exactly what keeps me going. I need to make the best out of every day. Nothing is promised, and I want to leave them with as much unconditional love, kindness, and knowledge I can. I know one day my children will wake my foot steps, in their own path, and evolve to be wonderful healing human beings. There is a quote I live by, Do not raise your children to face a harsh and cruel world, raise your children to make the world a little less harsh and cruel. That is exactly what I will do.
Growing up, I always knew about the bible, and Jesus, and knowing of a place in the sky called Heaven. That is where my beliefs stood for a while. Spirit had bigger plans for me, and as scared as I was at times, I am now humbled. "I release all energy that no longer serves me, I release all negativity around me, and all fear that limits me, so it is." My daily affirmation to start and finish my days. How can I serve? How can I serve others? Once we can open ourselves up, and trust the process, life will become a much happier place. Meditation is a fantastic way to improve your lifestyle, and reduce stress by years. Even a simple 5-10 minutes can go a long way, and you might be surprised at who you might connect with during the process. It wasn't until recently I learned something very valuable. You can take this knowledge and apply it once, or use it every single day to help you evolve. You are a reflection of others. If you have it, I got it. At first I did not understand fully, but this concept applies to the good and the bad. Spirit magnifies what you see in others to help you find what needs to be changed in yourself. The example I was given, was let's say you work with a coworker you can not stand. Just the sound of her voice drives you crazy, because she gossips way to much. Spirit is showing you that she might be registering at a level 100, but only a level 2 in you. You need to find what bothers you in those around you, and really look within yourself to find that, and change that. Once you can do this, you will notice these people fading from your life, leading you to bigger, and better things! The same thing applies to you in the good qualities. If you can look around you, and see only people of love, and joy, that is what you are reflecting out. Keep going <3
I hope you enjoyed learning a bit more about my journey, obstacles I have faced, lessons learnt, and trusting the process. We are always students of the Universe. I have added some FAQ's under the blog to those who were curious about empaths, and healers! Have a beautiful weekend all you light workers <3 Don't forget to stop and smell the roses, Terrylee xox
What is an empath?
"Empaths are highly sensitive, finely tuned instruments when it comes to emotions. They feel everything, sometimes to an extreme, and are less apt to intellectualize feelings. Intuition is the filter through which they experience the world. Empaths are naturally giving, spiritually attuned, and good listeners. If you want heart, empaths have got it. Through thick and thin, they’re there for you, world-class nurturers." - Dr Judith Orlaff
I, am an empath, as many many people are. Some don't even realize they are, and wonder why they feel so drained! It is so important to always protect your energy, even around those you love most! Every morning you should draw circle, or bubble around yourself in a beautiful white light, full of love! You can use any affirmation you would like to set it in motion. The one I use often, and for every thing is; I encircle myself in the white light, of God's love, and the Divine protection. As simple as that! You will feel the difference, especially if you are surrounded daily by crowds.
How do you know you're a healer? There are many examples, and I will share a link of 29 Signs You're a Healer below to give you a good idea!