This evening I sit alone and reflect.. I start typing, then back space. What does everyone want to read.. What do I want to tell them? How do I communicate all these ideas I have stored inside without sounding like I'm diving into 3 books in one conversation? Breathe.. and trust. These small affirmations have been my life lately. Why do I feel the need to tell you this, probably because I am not the only insane person out there and you can certainly join my ship if you feel the same. Describe yourself with an emotion in one word... does $&@!? count? .. overwhelmed. I am tired. Healing isn't always beautiful. But from chaos brings beauty in ways only you will recognize. There is no difference between you and I. We are all the same, however the only difference not visible to the eye is the difference between our minds. How does yours work? Is it controlling your every word, thoughts and action? When was the last time you had a moment of ahhh. What's that word again? Stillness! If we could only realize that who we are is not our minds. Yes they are certainly very clever, however our souls are intelligent. In the moments of peace your soul speaks to you on a level of being, spirit. The Spirit you thought you couldn't talk to without a middle man, yes they are always there, you just need to listen. Listen to that humming in the background, listing to those frequencies in quiet moments, listen to your breathing. How do you feel now? Joy.. most probably. Or you could be thinking, what the ef if she telling me to do? But then again that's not really you thinking that, it's your ego. What I am trying to get at here, is noticing the ego that we all have. The human ego that has trapped you and your mind into thinking and believing what you perceive as reality is all there is to this lifetime. " If we accept that we're on this planet to evovle, so that we no longer have to keep reincarnating, we will perhaps try harder to handle the issues we come up against.." - Yasmin Borland So getting back to healing. Man tough would be an understatement. I am so grateful for the people God has put in my life to help me through those moments.. family, friends and most of all Spirit and God. We all have those moments.. Our lives is like tsunamis, we have the calm, the rough seas, the massive wave we think we won't be able to survive through; but no matter how good someone's life appears to be, there is quite a bit going on under the surface, some are just better at covering it up. The thing with covering it up with what you think will fix it on the outside only grows the wounds seeping out inside. After a while you need to face what's been going on, so I did. I talk to Spirit every single day, I pray, try my best to meditate daily, I read and my knowledge was growing at a freakishly fast paste. Then out of no where it hit me like a ton of bricks, my ego came out of its dormant state. What if I could turn your knowledge into your enemy? Those words would haunt me. My gut aching for peace, my mind winning it's clever tricks. Fighting with my thoughts. I wasn't in a good place for a bit. In those moments, I knew there was a lesson, and I knew that it was a test. Why would God hand me this beautiful gift of communicating with Spirit every day for me to be lost within it? I needed to surcome the many faces of the ego and the clever mind to fully hear the voices of the Devine. If we all walked through life with ease, what would we learn? Nothing. Life can and will push and test you until you come to the understanding of knowing you are one, and you are love. Love will never hurt you, love will never question you. Love will always protect you and guide you, you simple need to trust. When you can let go of the need to fear the future and all it's illusions, you will see fully conscious moments in the now. The present moment is all we have, and the ego mind cannot live in it. It thrives from the past and the future, it is cause for self destruction. Meaning you are caused for self destruction. Clever clever minds we all have, no?
I know what you're thinking, well how can I be in the present moment?.. she better not finish up this blog now! Ready for this? Catch yourself thinking, your pain body thinking. Reminiscing of past memories that bring up unwanted emotions. Forgive that situation, release that shit. You need a fresh start, and what better time then right now. Don't dwell on the future, it hasn't even happened! You are literally giving your energy away for absolutely nothing. Sure it's super great to manifest, but not to the point of your happiness only being achieved once you have it. Again, live right now. What do you have in your life right now that you can be grateful for, focus on that.
I am grateful for my health and for the health of the ones I love. I am grateful for the environment I live in, my freedom. I am grateful for my communication with Spirit. I am thankful for this warm bed I am laying in. I am thankful for this blog I finally decided to do. You can find 3 things to be grateful for every single day. Gratitude saved my life. You cannot be grateful and angry at the same time, and you certainly can't be anywhere else then the present moment.
Life being a medium certainly has its amazing ups and unwanted downs. You will almost never meet a medium who suffers from anxiety, panick and mental struggles. We have come here to learn life lessons and in return I am able to give and help. There is nothing more I truly love doing then helping relay those messages from a departed husband/wife, mother/father, child.. it is the greatest gift I could have been blessed with. Working with Spirit and Devine love gives me the happiness I thrive on, one that is indescribable. The best part of that is you can find that same happiness within yourself. In peace and in the now. My global wish is that we can all taste that happiness and run with it.
One thing Spirit always reminds me of is that I am LOVE, I am SPIRIT and I AM.
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