Here I am, now in May. What a feeling to be alive to see May 1st, 2019. What a feeling to wake up this morning and smile because God, Spirit and Angels are all around me, walking me home every single day. What a feeling to know that I am loved for how I am, imperfectly perfect. Some days, it's hard to remember who I truly am. Getting so caught up in the everyday life of endless to do's and responsibilities, it's exhausting. Some days, I'm not ready to, and others I'm living. The balance is what we forget. What brings me back is getting centered in my Being. Sitting down in the middle of what ever I am doing and closing my eyes. Take it all in. Feel the gentle rush of air as you exhale the warmth of your body and focus on your core, imagining a line that runs from the crown of your head down to your tail bone. Where is this imaginary line do you feel most supported, this is your center for today. Breathing into this core the light begins to grow, it's warm and bright. Let this light expand over your entire being. Breath in, and feel the light expanding through every cell. Feel the power that you are. Connecting to this power source fuels your Spirit, Mind and Body.
Instead of focusing on our stories, because we all have one. Victories, losses, heartache and unimaginable joy, we all have one. If we miss the opportunity to see these stories as stepping stones, than was it all for nothing? I believe so. I know we are all here born out of love, to be and share this love. To remember who we truly are, and to walk each other home. Because let's face it, sometimes the chapter of our story sucks, and we're looking for that unconscious yet familiar hand to help us get to the next page. Love is who we are, and that will never change. The story you carry has allowed you to try, fall, hurt, and feel gratitude for every stumble and triumph.
Every single one of us is searching for that warmth of love, forgetting it's always been inside of us. We search for anything external to give us those few moments of comfort, instead of sitting with your sweet soul to feel that connection. That is what's missing! The feeling of waking up every single day and knowing that you are not alone, that you are connected to everything, that you are love, whole and perfect just as you are! Flaws, mistakes, hurt and every single thing you perceive as negative about you is loved. Can you imagine? What a shock to the ego when you come to feel this, to believe and know it. I feel like I've been going through many waves since I started going to school, and leaving behind the bookings and calendar memos. Some days, I wasn't sure I wanted to push through. Days of laying in bed and not getting out. When I reflect on those dark months, I am grateful. I knew then as I know now that those moments forced me to sit alone with myself, cry with myself, be angry, grieve, and than accept what I was feeling, and surrender to what was to come. I decided in those months to always let go from now on. With anything and everything, it was not up to me anymore. I opened myself up to becoming what this Universe intended me to be, and where I would wander. I feel a shift in heart, like a scene in a movie where they overcame the emotional obstacle that was silently attached to the physical element of war with who ever, and they come out on the other side with those battle scars, yet the smile they were on their face shows no fear. If we could only remember that every single one of us is fighting with ourselves, the world would soften.
A mere illusion of our minds is to always strive for something better than this moment. Striving for something in the distance. This moment is not worth giving up for fear of what's to come, or what has past. This moment offers us the choice to choose. We always get the choice; fear or love. Yet the only real power lies in love. In this moment, when we choose love we choose acceptance, miracles, and that nothing is impossible. We choose compassion for every single thing because we know we're all made of the same star dust. The same rules applies when we ask ourselves how to save this Earth, how to stop the violence, gun laws, politics, world hunger, human trafficking.. You have the choice. Do you give your attention and power to these topics by adding fuel to the fire. You hear it all the time. "The government is this.. Another tragedy.. Another shooting.. Another.. another.. another.." Some might think it's passive to sit back and "send love" but what you're really doing is asking God, Universe, Higher Power who is capable of all, including the creation of you, for healing for all involved, for the best outcome to this situation. You take away the fear and it's power. You than allow your power to grow in finding true solutions. Instead of projecting fear, project love. In the end, you can only ever control your power, and that all is well.
Feeling fear and anxiety is normal. What is disillusion is that we treat this fear like it's a plague. We don't want it, resist it and refuse it. We try so hard to distance ourselves from it, that subconsciously we attract it. "What you resist will persist." I think it's about time we embrace the inner fear and anxiety, make it your friend. Talk to it! No you're not crazy. Give it a try and let me know what you think. Start the conversation like this.. I am afraid of _______ and list them all, keep going. Empty it all out. If you can, say them out loud. When you do there will be this part of you that feels free. And less afraid than you thought you were. You are whole and complete. You are perfectly balanced in light and dark. You cannot have light without the darkness in comparison. To feel that love you are craving from whoever and wherever, it's time to embrace the darkness within yourself. It can feel ugly, and bring up a lot of shit, but to feel confident, comfortable and love it must be done.
I ran away from my anxieties for a long long time. Why on earth would I embrace these qualities that were crippling me emotionally, mentally, and physically causing me pain? Well to my surprise they were all my greatest teachers. Your greatest fear, and challenge will be your greatest gift in this life time. Thank them, and feel grateful they showed up to lead you into growth.
I leave you here with this last very important message. I love you.
The light you see in others is the same light within yourself. I wish you nothing but happiness, joy, and blessings. That you be well on your journey, and be kind to yourself. When you are gentle with yourself, you are gentle to all. You make this experience a better place. Much love, Terrylee x